Long Distance Relationships

My girlfriend and I got separated.

Not that we broke up, but she went to Aspen to work for her internship.

It's really hard to manage long distance relationship. Some of the many factors are currently in play: trust, time, communication. These factors, when played right, could lead to a better relationship, else it's downfall. No wonder that some people call these as "surviving a long distance relationship".

This is honestly my second time to experience a long distance relationship. The first one did not survive because there were issues of trust and have minimal communication. I gave all that needs to give (although this was my first time to be in a relationship), but there were no returns. She never returned the love that I gave to her.

In my present relationship for almost 3 years, we've have made a connection between each other and have defined some things in our lives. We've got to know each other during these years and became comfortable with one another. That's why when she left for a one-year internship in the US, it was really difficult for us.

But I've learned a lot since that failed long distance relationship. Here are some tips which I would like to share to you in order to "survive" the relationship:

1. Be true and loyal to one another. That's the basic and most important rule in surviving a long distance relationship. Most relationships fail because of this aspect. Open yourself up to her and know that what you have right now is the one and the rest are just temptations.
   
2. Have a special time or date when you can talk. While she was still here with me, we have this "special" day because I don't have much time to visit her because of my work as a web developer. Thus, we made an agreement that we will always meet and go out every Saturday. From there, we decided that Saturday will be our special day and the time that I will call her and have a good time sharing experiences between one another.
   
3. Give encouragement. My girlfriend gets depressed most of the time because of her work. Moreover, the distance between us adds to the depression. Thus, I always encourage her to do things well. Moreover, I always tell her that there are only 10 months left before she goes home to me.
   
4. Share experiences. Every time that we would talk over the phone, I would share to her my experiences for the day: how pissed I am because of our Project Manager, how good I was during the development of the project, how much I've learned in doing things well, etc. On the other hand, she also shares with me some of her experiences: how well she managed the area that she is in, how stupid and considerate the customers are (she's an intern chef by the way), how cold the environment is (since it is snowing that time), and many more. With that, we don't miss on the important events and happenings between each other.
   
5. Oldies are still goodies. Send her mails, even if they are just short. Whenever I arrive in the office, the first thing I do is to write her an email sharing to her the things that had happened to me yesterday. Sometimes it's quite long, but most of it are just short. What's important is that she knows what you're doing and how you are feeling.
   
6. Visit her if possible. If possible only. Nothing beats the mere presence of your one true love with you. I had that experience when I visited her in Aspen just lately. Both of us cannot believe it because the cost of going here is very high. But thanks to God that it was made possible. There, I knew what was she doing and the environment that she is in. Moreover, we got to reconnect on the ties between each other.

I know how difficult it is to be away to your one true love. But here are some of my personal suggestions in order to "survive the crisis". There are many more, and I guess they may help you.

I hope that you survive your relationship and continue loving each other.

Choral Arranging after 3 or more months

Waaahhh!!! After many months of doing a lot of programming, coding, scripting and many more, I already had the chance to do what my heart desired -- Arrange songs for choirs.

The last time I arranged a song was for my graduation last October 2007. I did I Love the Lord, composed by Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ which I did as a tribute to all of my fellow Lasallian Ministry Office Ministers who will graduate that term (actually, most of them are my batchmates).

When it was sung during the mass, I got some responses from people. One was from our chairperson for Information Management who asked for a copy of my arrangement and also asked for some of my arrangements if I have. The second was from my parents who saw my talent and my art, although they told me that I should not focus so much in music because it will not give me anything (well, here in the Philippine setting). So I told them that this will just be my hobby.

Since then and when I joined the project that I'm working in my company, I never made any arrangements that were big. I focused myself in developing websites and stored procedures. And as I was doing this, my heart was hungry to do what I loved to do.

That was until 2 weeks ago when we were now in the User Acceptance Testing when the developers were there as support for the users. There were bugs and enhancements that were issued but they are easy to deal with.

As I lay idle, I played my sounds until it played the song The First Time I Loved Forever, the theme song of the TV Series Beauty and the Beast. It was then that it tickled my mind and my heart and started arranging the song.

During my composition (or arranging), I envisioned a girl singing this to her boyfriend, telling him how much she loves him and that her heart was already with him since the time he said hello. Thus, I arranged it for a female choir. To cut the story short, I placed there all of the emotions, feelings and thoughts in all four voices. Thus, whenever one sings a line, it is as if each voice tells a story or a message. That is my style of arranging: It is as if all voices are saying something to the audience.

This arrangement is just the first version and I plan to revise it until it will be "perfected" by asking some of my friends who are music majors.

So here it is. I finished this arrangement and I did this to my one true love. I hope she will love it.

Unlimited text promo for both Globe and Smart is not available from Dec. 25 - Jan 1

Just read this in the news earlier in GMANews.TV. I was pissed when I saw this.

Grr...

MANILA, Philippines - Mobile telephone companies Smart Communications and Globe Telecom, Inc. will not offer unlimited text and call promotions on Christmas and on New Year’s eves.

In an interview, Smart Spokesman Ramon R. Isberto said a promotion that allows subscribers to make unlimited calls at night and send as many text messages as they can would not be made available from Dec. 23 to Dec. 25, and from Dec. 30 to Jan. 1.

Likewise, a similar promotion from Globe will not be made available on Dec. 24 and 25, and on Dec. 31 and Jan. 1, said Froilan M. Castelo, Globe’s regulatory division head.

Both companies said this is meant to prevent their networks from clogging at a time when most Filipinos greet their friends and relatives with Christmas tidings.

Smart’s promotion allows subscribers to send an unlimited number of text messages within the network for 24 hours, for P25. Users may also make an unlimited number of calls during the off-peak hours of 11 p.m. to 6 a.m.

"We are only able to offer these promotions [for calls] since these are usually dead times," Mr. Isberto said.

He added that technically, the company would not be suspending the promotion since it had clearly excluded holiday peak hours under its application with the National Telecommunications Commission.

"What we are doing is managing our network, in case there are any serious obstructions [during the holidays]," Mr. Isberto said.

"We are not taking any chances. We want to protect the network from abuse," Mr. Castelo said. "We want to avoid any congestion. We just want to clear the airwaves," he added.

The Smart and Globe promotions allow subscribers to send an unlimited number of text messages within their own networks for as low as P20 a day. Text messages normally cost a peso each.

Voice calls are also being offered at a discount. Calls made within a network can go as low as P2 per minute instead of the regular P6.50 rate.

Both companies have estimated that around a billion text messages are sent locally everyday. Mr. Castelo said this can double during the holidays, as Filipinos dash to greet friends and relatives.

Just pissed...but I'll be alright.

I'm so damn pissed! Just got home from the midnight mass which supposedly my choir will sing. However, things turned out not the way it should be. I don't know if it is because they forgot about it or maybe they never considered that this will be our final service.

I've been with my choir for about a year which is composed of high school and grade school youth. We've been serving in our parish during Sunday Masses and at times during Anticipated Masses. I started with them as an aid to help them improve their vocal technique which I've learned when I joined the UP Singing Ambassadors under the leadership of Kuya Ed Manguiat. I've seen their improvement and how they have grown from being "tone deaf" singers and those without placement to almost good singers to start with.

Though I've planned to handle them for a very long time, there are some instances that lead me to letting them go:

1. They don't attend practices even if I tell them. Our regular practices are every Sunday at the parish. Whenever I tell them that we will have practices, they will always tell me that they cannot attend because they will go there and go here, they have many things to do, they will do this and do that. Geesh! Can they just spare like 2 hours for practice only for this? They are just near the parish and 2 hours can't hurt.
2. We don't have a permanent rehearsal place. Before we transfered to the parish for our practices, we used to do it in my house. However, Sundays are literally the busiest time at home thus we cannot accomodate them here, though I tried to convince my parents. I've even wrote a letter to a school within our village if they could spare us for 2 hours to rehearse there. Unfortunately, they denied it implicitly (it's an irony because the principal said last year that if there's anything they can do, we'll just tell them).
3. The project in our company had taken a toll already. I'm not only a musician but a programmer as well, and our project had really taken a toll on all of the developers. What started as a misplanned project bore bad fruits on us, especially on our social life. One of my officemates who is part of the team almost lost his family because of the successive overtimes, overnights and going to work during Saturdays, Sundays and even holidays.
   

I've had enough! I've given every thing to my choir and I don't see the gratitude in them (well, not all of them).

I guess I've done my part already. It's up to them now.

To end, while I was on my way home, I sent this message to the group:

Guys, thanks for everything. It's graduation time. God bless to everyone.

How to Get Rich During Recession

Here's a blog written by one of my favorite authors, Bo Sanchez. It's really timely due to the effects of the recession that is happening in the US.

I love talking to Auntie Eunice.

She’s a petite, 4 foot 11 inches, pretty Cebuano lady who lives in California. She loves to laugh, tell stories, and always treats me to a spicy Indian lunch every time we meet. Even if she doesn’t like Indian food! But she knows I do, so that’s where she takes me.

She’s also a very successful woman. Auntie Eunice sells houses for a living. In her circles, they call her a “Million-Dollar” producer.

But more than all these, I just love talking with Auntie Eunice because of her fantastic positive energy. She rubs it on me and I feel wonderful.

But early this year, the US Recession hit the world like a crashing meteor. So when I visited her last September, I feared the worst. I knew there were a million foreclosures all over the US, and a million more houses soon to be foreclosed. People were losing their homes. Who in his right mind would buy houses now?

When I went around the West and East Coast, my fears were proven right. I met a number of Real Estate agents. Most of them told me, “I haven’t sold anything for months.” Some of them were applying for new jobs just to survive.

So when I met Auntie Eunice, I was very cautious about asking on her business. But after our little chitchat, catching up on family and stuff, I finally asked her, “How’s business, Auntie?”

Her reply floored me. She said, “Bo, I’m selling more houses now than ever before!”

My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe my ears.

She continued, “In fact, we’re expanding. I now have 20 agents working under me. It’s a great business out there.”

I blinked hard. Was she from another planet? I wanted to ask, “Auntie Eunice, don’t you read the newspapers? Don’t you know there’s a recession out there? You shouldn’t be selling houses. You should be like everyone else, suffering and depressed, crying inside their homes watching soap operas!”

But Auntie Eunice is not like everyone else.

She Doesn’t Read The Newspapers!

I learned that she doesn’t even read the newspapers. “Why should I?” she said, “It’s filled with all these negative news.” She says she’d rather be in the streets, selling her houses to wonderful people who need wonderful homes.

That day, I met a living proof that success is all about attitude.

Auntie Eunice is that proof, standing 4’11 inches tall, right in front of me.

She doesn’t care if there’s a recession in the world.

Because in the world of Eunice, there’s no such thing. She’s declared it: “I’m not going to join the recession.”

Oh, let me mention two other great things about her: She loves people. And she loves God.

“Success is all about relationships,” she told me. “People I’ve sold houses to years ago are buying again, or they refer me to others who need new homes. We’re all friends.” I realized that more than a Real Estate Expert, Auntie Eunice is a People Expert.

Finally, she’s also a devoted Christian. Together with her husband and three beautiful adult children, they serve the Lord in various ways.

Don’t Join The Recession!

Do you want to succeed despite what’s happening around you?

You don’t have to join the recession.

Auntie Eunice reminds me that success is not about external circumstances, but about three important components: (1) a powerful mindset, (2) practical wisdom, and (3) inner character. Develop these three things, and you will succeed no matter what chaos is happening around you.

(By the way, if you want me to help you in gaining these three components of success, read by P.S. below…)

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Enjoy life!!!