Five Tips for your First Date

Got this from an internet article. Don't have any idea who wrote this.

Enjoy

Let's face it…first dates are tough and the majority will end before they even really start. Here is a list the five most important things both men and women should keep in mind. A first date is simply two people getting together to find out more about each other…its an interview where you determine if the other person will be a good fit for you. Many of these things may seem like common sense but you will be surprised with the things some people are capable of.


Top Five Things for Men


1. Listen to your date. Listening to your date is not the same thing as waiting for her to pause so that you can begin speaking).
2. Be chivalrous…yes that means you'll have to open the car door for them.
3. Don't get drunk. If you're not sure you can, just stay away from alcohol all together.
4. Always be on time.
5. Play it safe and stay away from the religious and/or political topics…this can lead to disaster.




Top Five Things for Women


1. Say thank you if he does something nice and/or unusual.
2. If you're not interested and rather be friends, just say it. The guy may not want to hear it but trust me, it's better (and easier) now than later on.
3. Don't get drunk (see #3 for men).
4. Laugh at his jokes even if they are awfull.
5. Make lots of eye contact and smile.

Did I Marry the Right Person

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...
Those who are already married or in a commitment may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages or relationship breakdown. People blame their spouse/partner for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage/relationsh ip for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE/RELATIONSH IP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationsh ip work. Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love. When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting and strong marriage.


Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make"love.

Love is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling. You'll not just go away with your relationship just because the feeling is gone. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen.

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
FW: Ruth Beltran

"Marriage is more than saying I Do. Marriage, like a precious plant, needs constant tending for it to grow, flourish, and bear fruti to last a lifetime, and beyond."
-David and Evelyn Feliciano


AUTHOR: ANONYMOUS (NO IDEA WHERE I GOT IT)

On Friends

Here's my definition of friendship (well, aside from the common definition we know).

Aside from they are just there for the fun, I strongly believe that friends are there to save you from the internal evils that we have as a person. They are there to help you in times of distress and not just leaving you alone.

I'm blessed to have friends such as these. In return, I give them what is due. I love them back and never leave them alone, even if they are down to their addictions and sicknesses.

That's what true friends are. They are parts of you that you need and they are parts of you that will save you and bring you to what is right and just.

To all my friends, I love you and I thank you.

Speaking Well In Public Is By No Means Accidental

I got this over the internet. Hope you like it.

You might possibly know how jokes can complement your speech. But jokes can also cause your speech to be disastrous. Jokes are both a boon and bane to a speech.


If you are very much in comfort with it, use humor. Just check it first if it fits, serving as a breaker between sections or emphasizing a certain point. A funny and great line, or a comment that is irreverent can help liven up the presentation that you have and will help people to remember the things you have said. Of course any joke must be related to the topic that you have in some way. If you are not sure about something, you could also use a humorous photo or cartoon (with the permission of the photographer or illustrator, of course) in your slides.


Aside from making jokes or humor in your speech, you could improve your public speaking with these other tips.


- You should be able to grab your listeners' attention even right at the start. That is why it is important that you start correct – confident posture, eloquent speaking style, controlled voice tonality and impact, and a nice, well-thought speech from you.


- The information in your message should be organized clearly and logically, making it easy for your listeners to follow what you are trying to say. Keep things easy and simple. Divide the information into smaller blocks and work from there. Highlight the points that you want your audience to remember.


- Your most crucial point should be the conclusion, bringing the speech to a close. The conclusion sets the tone of the speech, and lets the listeners think about and ponder on the things you have just said. Literary devices, such as quotes, stories, rhetorical questions, or surprising facts, can be used for concluding a speech, although of course, these devices should relate well to the topic of your speech.


- Deliver the conclusion that you have clearly and slowly. Keep eye contact with your listeners as you speak. Smile at them, thanking them for the time that they have given you.


- You should remember all these tips and in due time, you would be surprised to see how these techniques have helped you in your future speaking presentations. Your listeners will eventually understand the information you have given them and respect you for your ability in delivering that information.

Seven Keys to Happiness

Found this article in the net. Hope you like this

This article summarizes much of what I've learned thus far on my journey to self-discovery and positive growth. Along the way, through many of life's ups and downs, with the help of many awesome teachers and mentors, I now most often live in a state of happiness and contentment. I still have lots to learn but I wanted to share with you what I've found most helpful thus far. I truly believe that all people have the capacity to choose their mental attitude. Therefore, if happiness is what you desire, then you must choose it. Here are some helpful ideas to help you do just that.


1. Self-Worth
Self-worth-without it, happiness will always be just beyond your grasp. Self-worth is, of course, something that can be measured along a continuum. It isn't like you either have it or you don't. You can possess varying degrees and those degrees can themselves vary depending on the circumstances of your life.


Generally, the person who is happiest has a healthy amount of self-worth without an inflated view of their own self-importance. This is the fine line that must be walked between confidence and arrogance.


Confidence implies a certain sense of surety while recognizing that each of us is just a different cog in a very big wheel. No one person is any more important than anyone else. Those with high self-worth know their life's purpose. They are in tune with what their mission is and proceed to make it their life's work. They also recognize the value of everyone else with whom they share space.


Those who are arrogant recognize their own self-worth but then proceed to look down upon those they deem as unworthy. Then at the other end of the continuum, there are those who recognize the importance of others but don't believe they are worthy to breathe air.


A healthy balance of self-worth is the key.


2. Gratitude
The second key to happiness is gratitude. It is human nature to enumerate the things that are NOT the way we want them to be. We are programmed to notice when things are off, and not necessarily appreciate when all is as we want it. This makes maintaining an attitude of gratitude a challenge but nonetheless something we should strive for. I have mentioned before that Universal Law tells us that we attract those things we think about most often. When we are grateful for what we have, more is bestowed upon us.


I know someone who believes, "No good deed goes unpunished" and lives his life accordingly. Another person I know always says, "I have the worst luck. Nothing good ever happens to me." And you know what? They are right! The Universe delivers to them exactly what they expect. There are others who have similar bad luck but who persevere or find the lesson in the situation. These people find more happiness and contentment in return.


Another point about gratitude is to be thankful for what you have. I love the line in the song that says, "It's not having what you want; it's about wanting what you got!" There's nothing wrong with wanting to do better than you are as long as you are grateful along the way. Even when things are bad, there is always good to be found in it. Life is in perfect balance and order. Anything with a great deal of pain associated with it also has a tremendous positive side if we are of the mind to see it.


3. Positive Life Framing
The third key to happiness is positive life framing. There are three ways to view any piece of information-positively, negatively or neutrally. Viewing information as neutral is the best way to go through life. It allows us to accept everything as it comes and to stop resisting what actually is in any given moment. However, many of us have great difficulty with that one.


As an incremental step, it is helpful to find a way to reframe life's negative events into positive ones. Even in life's tragedies, there is a way to find something positive about the situation. Almost always, in hindsight, we can see the benefit. The real benefit comes when we are able to see the benefit as the tragedy unfolds, or at least stay open to the thought that there is a benefit even if you are unable to see it in that moment. Just as in physics where there can be no neutron without a proton, so it is with life where there can be no negative event without a corresponding positive one.


4. Internal Locus of Control
The fourth key to happiness is possessing an internal locus of control. People who have an internal locus of control believe that they are responsible for their own behavior and its results based on their own personal decisions and efforts. This is contrasted with those who have an external locus of control. These individuals believe that their behavior is determined by external circumstances such as other people, fate, luck or circumstances beyond their control.


Having an internal locus of control produces a "can do" attitude. An external locus of control generally results in a helpless attitude. Even though people with an internal locus of control still have situations that occur that are beyond their control, they will seek some action that can be taken by them to improve the situation. They do not spend time bemoaning the fact that something bad happened to them. They look for decisive action opportunities to turn things around.


In this way, a person is more in charge of their own destiny. They can reject the role of victim and take definitive action to create greater life satisfaction.


5. Lifelong Learning
The fifth key to happiness is to adopt an attitude of lifelong learning. Your goal each day should be to learn something new. As you encounter new people and situations, look for the wisdom that can be extracted from them. Particularly in areas where we believe we made a "mistake", seek to uncover the lesson. There is always a lesson to be learned.


When we believe we know all there is to know, that is when we are in dangerous territory. When we think we know all, then we stop learning from the people and situations in our path. When we stop looking for the lessons, we begin to blame things external to ourselves for the pain we experience instead of seeking to learn whatever we need to know for our life's journey.


6. Love
Love is the sixth key to happiness. I am not talking about having a significant other in your life who loves you. I'm talking about having love inside of you that is just bursting out of you to touch others. Unconditional love is a concept we all strive for-unfortunately, most of us are looking to receive it rather than give it. You are truly fortunate and blessed when you have the unconditional love of someone-whether it's your life partner, your mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, foster parent, friend or puppy!


Truly unconditional love is rare and a gift to be cherished. However, ask yourself the question, how many times have you extended unconditional love? Do you have unconditional love for your fellow human beings? This is the kind of love that will lead to happiness. It doesn't matter if that special someone doesn't love you back, it's what's in YOUR heart that matters. Are you someone who only loves as much as you feel you are being loved in returned? That certainly isn't unconditional! If you are seeking love in your life, then you must be loving in order to attract the love you seek. This will lead to the ultimate happiness-loving, expecting nothing in return. Try it.


7. Contribution
The last key to happiness is contribution. This is a combination of knowing and following one's life purpose. When people understand their divine purpose in this life and then go about fulfilling that purpose, they are making an awesome contribution to the good of mankind. Having meaningful work and leaving a legacy is an important key to happiness. When we do the work we were meant to do, we touch lives. It doesn't matter whether one's purpose is to clean the public restrooms or to find the cure for AIDS, following your divine purpose will bring about a strong life fulfillment that cannot be experienced any other way. Contribution is critical to happiness.


Implementing these seven keys to happiness in one's life is not an easy task. Personal coaching can be helpful as you are attempting to change some old, harmful habits into more productive, happiness-inducing ones. Jack Canfield says, "Of all the things successful people do to accelerate their trip down the path to success, participating in some kind of coaching program is at the top of the list. A coach will help you clarify your vision and goals, support you through your fears, keep you focused, confront your unconscious behaviors and old patterns, expect you to do your best, help you live by your values, show you how to earn more while working less, and keep you focused on your core genius." Why not give it a try?

Refreshing Your Relationship: Give 100 percent

Got this from an internet article. Sadly, there's no author to this....

A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway," and we often take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.


Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?


Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every level of society from politics to business to social interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and emotions.


Going into a relationship with the expectation that contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just take for a while.


We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%. Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other responsibilities change.


If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so you are much better off than you expected.


Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much more support than your original bargain called for!


You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership. Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.


If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.


We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity to give.


This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging, negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.

Fear Not

From an article which I found over the net.

Modern psychology today seems to suggest that living with fears is normal. Some popular phrases are, "Accepting your fears", "Managing your fears", "Embracing your fears", or, "Coping with your fears." But is that really the way the Creator intended us to live, with fear?


Fear will always limit you and keep you from being the person you really want to be. Fear is destructive and it ruins lives. Learning to live with your fears is not the answer. Ignoring your fears is not the answer. Getting rid of your fears is the answer and it is available.


If it is "normal" to live with fear why is it that not clearly spelled out to us in the Bible? In fact, just the opposite is true. Many times on the pages of Scripture you will find the phrase, "Fear not." If it is normal to accept your fears, why would God instruct us to be abnormal by saying, "Fear not?"


Why does the Bible say, "I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears"? If it were God's intention for us to embrace our fears why doesn't it say, "I sought the Lord and He helped me to embrace and accept all my fears"?


God never intended for His people to be defeated and full of fear. He desires just the opposite, that we live a fulfilled life, an abundant life. He wishes above all things that we prosper and be in health. The Bible says that fear has torment and that is so true.


So many Christians are living needlessly with fears – all sorts of fears. God can deliver you of any and every fear. He can even deliver you from your deepest fear. Jesus told a man whose daughter had just died, "Fear not, only believe!" The man refused to fear and believed, and his daughter was raised back to life! Why did Jesus tell him, "Fear not?" Because fear will always keep you from believing and accepting the promises of God. But when you believe the promises of God, you will see them come to pass in your life.


Are you tired of living with fear? God can deliver you! Ask God to help you and deliver you from all your fears.